CONTRACTS AND NEGOTIATIONS

Even with three days off, I feel like there’s a noose around my neck. I was the 6AM this morning. I’m so used to opening, I find myself looking for things to do. A half hour into my shift I remembered to cut the horoscope out of the paper. It’s such an important job, I couldn’t believe I forgot. Flipping through the paper, I happened on the obituaries.
“Laura Branigan died of a brain aneurism!”
“Who’s Laura Branigan?” asked Matilda.
“She had a couple of really big songs in the Eighties, but I’m not going to sing them for you.”
My day began with Stu asking, “What time do you open on Sundays?”
“Seven O’clock.”
“I thought it was six.”
“Six, Monday through Friday; Seven on Sundays and Holidays.”
“Cause I came by at six and you were still baking.”
I wanted to say, “Listen Chrome-Dome, as long as I’m opening on Sundays, we’re opening at seven!” Instead I said, “You should have knocked on the window. I would have given you a coffee.”
Not long after I started having problems with the ATM machine. We just started accepting Visa, and it threw me for a loop. As I was swiping a guy’s credit card through the machine for the third time, Myself orders his fucking coffee. Myself is this pushy French guy who comes in all the time. He prefaces his orders with, “Myself, I’ll take a …”
He put his coffee change on top of his coffee card, and shoved it across the counter. I put the money in the till and as I was initialing his card he said, “You need to give me another signature. The guy yesterday didn’t give me one because I didn’t have my cup.”
“No.”
“What is it? No?”
“No, I’m not going to sign your card twice. You get an initial for every cup of coffee you buy. No re-fills.”
“But I paid for it myself!”
“Look, we don’t have to give out these little cards you know. We do it as a courtesy. It’s too early in the morning to even be arguing about this!”
“The owner will hear.”
“Send him my regards.”
I should have just signed the fucking card, but I’m getting so sick of how maniacal people are with the things. People will risk missing the bus just to make sure they are one more initial closer to a cup of coffee. And then there’s the whole, “They bought it for you” debate. If someone else pays for the coffee and doesn’t have a card, can their friends have the initial?
What people don’t know is that, I give out little free-bees all the time. If someone comes in everyday, I’ll give them a break when they don’t have money, or I’ll only charge as much money as they have.
Still, people feel the need to pull a fast one on you. This morning Hasbro walked out with the National Post, as if a double-Americano entitled him to the paper. It doesn’t matter how nice you are to people, they still play their little games like you’re just a price tag on the cost of living.
All you have to be is nice and you’ll get your free cup of coffee.

GarpinBC